In Praise of the Mustache

Although I primarily sport a beard, or five o’clock shadow during the warmer seasons, I’ve always held a deep, sincere admiration for men who can effortless and confidently wear a mustache. Something about a mustache on me screams 80’s porno movie or tall, skinny version of Lando from Star Wars, deterring me from indulging in such facial sculpting. But let me not dwell on my facial shortcomings but instead let us praise and exalt the iconic men who have worn this style of facial hair with grace and poise.

Eastern Maori MP, Tāreha Te Moananui, 1867

Eastern Maori MP, Tāreha Te Moananui, 1867

A dapper man sporting a finely trimmed 'Mutton chops' mustache, 1800s

Albert Einstein and his fuzzy 'painter's brush mustache'.

Charlie Chaplin with his legendary 'toothbrush mustache'.

Fu Manchu with his legendary, eponymous mustache. 

Salvador Dali with his trademark 'Dali' mustache. 

Salvador Dali with his trademark 'Dali' mustache. 

John Waters owning the 'pencil mustache'.

John Waters owning the 'pencil mustache'.

Sam Elliott in the 'Big Lebowski', wearing what I believe is the epitome of the 'walrus mustache'.

Sam Elliott in the 'Big Lebowski', wearing what I believe is the epitome of the 'walrus mustache'.

Praise to the mustachioed and their hairy lipped labors of love!